Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff

By Richard Carlson

Summary:

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff”, I re-read this book probably 20 years after the first round. Very happy that I did. It was a good reminder of stopping for a moment our fast paced lives and think about some basic principles for a happier life. It provides some perspective on how we see life, our expectations versus that fact that life happens every moment. We worry so much about what could happen in the future as oppose to live in the moment and enjoy what we got today. This is a must-read book.

There are 100 principles on this book. They will speak to you based on your personal situation. Take the best that may work for you. 

If you like this one, another must is “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie. Get this one as well, absolutely worth a read.

“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” Takeaways

It was pretty hard to pick. Reading is definitively a personal experience. These are the lessons that resonated with me the most. Pick your own and more importantly live them, practice them and hopefully they will help you in your journey to a happier life

Here is a short list (16) of the ones I liked the most. Below you will find an extended one.

1. “There are two rules for living in harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2) It’s all small stuff. Wayne Dyer.”

2. Make Peace with Imperfection

10. Learn to Live in the Present Moment

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn’t. 

16. Ask Yourself the Question, “Will This Matter a Year from Now?”

30. Choose Your Battles Wisely 

31. Become Aware of Your Moods and Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low Ones

The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you’re in a low mood. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. 

54. Understand the Statement, “Wherever You Go, There You Are”

It can teach you to stop constantly wishing you were somewhere else. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. 

70. Remember that You Become What You Practice Most

Be careful what you practice.

76. Get Comfortable Not Knowing

78. Cut Yourself Some Slack

Don’t worry about being perfect. Life is a process, just one thing after another. When you lose it, just starts again.

90. One More Passing Show

Everything has a beginning and an ending and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And if you’re experiencing some type of pain or displeasure, know that this too shall pass. It’s not always easy, but it is usually helpful.

93. Give Up on the Idea that “More Is Better”

94. Keep Asking Yourself, “What’s Really Important?”

96. Be Open to “What Is”

Life isn’t always (or even rarely is) the way we would like it to be it is simply the way it is. 

99. Schedule Time for Your Inner Work

100. Live This Day as if It Were Your Last. It Might Be!

Extended list 

There is more great stuff here. See what you think about these below. It is definitely food for thought.

1. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

“There are two rules for living in harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2) It’s all small stuff. Let the quote stand. Wayne Dyer.”

2. Make Peace with Imperfection

Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of would like, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

3. Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers

Fearful, frantic thinking takes an enormous amount of energy and drains the creativity and motivation from our lives. When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.

4. Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking

Be aware of how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. The solution is to notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum. The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. 

6. Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your”In Basket” Won’t Be Empty

If you’re obsessed with getting everything done, you’ll never have a sense of well-being! In reality, almost everything can wait. Very little in our work lives truly falls into the “emergency” category. If you stay focused on your work, it will all get done in due time.

7. Don’t Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences

You’ll notice, right away, how much the interactions with the people in your life will improve as a direct result of this simple act. You’ll begin to enjoy your conversations rather than rush through them. 

8. Do Something Nice for Someone Else-and Don’t Tell Anyone About It

It’s really true that one should give for the sake of giving, not to receive something in return. 

9. Let Others Have the Glory

The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else.  To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment. 

The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response. Just say, “That’s wonderful,” or “Please tell me more,” and leave it at that. The person you are speaking to will have so much more fun and, because you are so much more “present,” because you are listening so carefully. 

10. Learn to Live in the Present Moment

We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing ourselves that “someday” will be better than today.  John Lennon once said, “Life is what’s happening while we’re busy making other plans.” 

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date. It isn’t. 

11. Imagine that Everyone Is Enlightened Except You

The people you meet are all here to teach you something. Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. Often, once you discover what someone is trying to teach you, it’s easy to let go of your frustration. 

12. Let Others Be “Right” Most of the Time

We all want our positions to be respected and understood by others. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected. Those who are in the habit of correcting others are then resented and avoided. Stop correcting. You don’t have to sacrifice your deepest philosophical truths, but, starting today, let others be “right,” most of the time!

14. Create “Patience Practice Periods”

Being patient allows me to keep my perspective. I can re-member, even in the midst of a difficult situation, that what’s before me-my present challenge- isn’t “life or death” but simply a minor obstacle that must be dealt with. 

16. Ask Yourself the Question, “Will This Matter a Year from Now?”

While this simple game won’t solve all your problems, it can give you an enormous amount of needed perspective.

17. Surrender to the Fact that Life Isn’t Fair

Life isn’t fair. Perhaps, it was never intended to be. It’s a bum-mer, but it’s absolutely true. Ironically, recognizing this sobering fact can be a very liberating insight. You may be surprised that it can nudge you out of self-pity and into helpful action.

18. Allow Yourself to Be Bored

Much of our anxiety and inner struggle stems from our busy, overactive minds always needing something to entertain them, something to focus on, and always wondering. When you allow your mind to take a break, it comes back stronger, sharper, more focused and creative.

19.Lower your tolerance to stress

When you’re feeling out of control and resentful of all you have to do, rather than roll up your sleeves and “get to it,” a better strategy is to relax, take a few deep breaths, and go for a short walk. 

26. Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day

There is something rejuvenating and peaceful about being alone and having some time to reflect, work, or simply enjoy the quiet.

28. Seek First to Understand

Implies that you become more interested in understanding others and less in having other people understand you. 

29. Become a Better Listener 

It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.

30. Choose Your Battles Wisely

There are always going to be people who disagree with you, people who do things differently, and things that don’t work out. If you fight against this principle of life, you’ll spend most of your life fighting battles. A more peaceful way to live is to decide consciously which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone.If you do, there will come a day when you’ll rarely feel the need to do battle at all.

31. Become Aware of Your Moods and Don’t Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low Ones

When you’re in a good mood, life looks great. You have perspective, common sense, and wisdom. On the contrary, when you’re in a bad mood, life looks unbearably serious and difficult. You have very little perspective. The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems when you’re in a low mood. When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off as simply that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. 

39. Practice Humility

The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside. Ironically, however, the less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence. 

49. Resist the Urge to Criticize

53. See the Glass as Already Broken (and Everything Else Too)

Everything has a beginning and everything has an end. When you expect something to break, you’re not surprised or disappointed when it does. Instead of becoming immobilized when something is destroyed, you feel grateful for the time you have had.

54. Understand the Statement, “Wherever You Go, There You Are”

The significance of this statement is that it can teach you to stop constantly wishing you were somewhere else. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you.

55. Breathe Before You Speak

The strategy itself is remarkably simple. All it takes is intention and practice. If you observe the conversations around you, you’ll notice that, often, what many of us do is simply wait for our chance to speak. We’re not really listening to the other person, but simply waiting for an opening to express our own view. 

61. Read Articles and Books with Entirely Different Points of View from Your Own and Try to Learn Something

We form opinions and then spend our entire lifetimes validating what we believe to be true.  You don’t need to change your core beliefs or your deepest held positions. All you’re doing is expanding your mind and opening your heart to new ideas. You’ll become a more relaxed, philosophic person, because you’ll begin to sense the logic in other points of view.

62. Do One Thing at a Time

When you’re focused, rather than distracted, it enables you to become absorbed and interested in your activity, whatever it might be. Second, you’ll be amazed at how quickly and efficiently you’ll get things done. 

66. Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want

It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. 

67. Practice Ignoring Your Negative Thoughts

In a practical sense, you really have only two options when it comes to dealing with negative thoughts. You can analyze your thoughts–ponder, think through, study, think some more- or you can learn to ignore them–dismiss, pay less attention to, not take so seriously. This later option, learning to take your negative thoughts less seriously, is infinitely more effective in terms of learning to be more peaceful.

69. Be Happy Where You Are

Sadly, many of us continually postpone our happiness. Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. 

70. Remember that You Become What You Practice Most

Whatever you practice most is what you will become. Be careful what you practice.

If you remember that what you practice you will become, you may begin choosing different types of practice.

71. Quiet the Mind

An inner peace translates into outer peace. Meditation teaches you to be calm by giving you the experience of absolute relaxation. It teaches you to be at peace. A few minutes each day will reap tremendous benefits, over time. 

72. Take Up Yoga

75. Think of Your Problems as Potential Teachers

Rather than push away the problem and resist it, try to embrace it. Mentally, hold the problem near to your heart. Ask yourself what valuable lesson(s) this problem might be able to teach you. 

76. Get Comfortable Not Knowing

We don’t know what’s going to happen-we just think we do. Often we make a big deal out of something. We blow up scenarios in our minds about all the terrible things that are going to happen. Most of the time we are wrong.

77. Acknowledge the Totality of Your Being

Opening to the totality of your being is like saying to your self, “I may not be perfect, but I’m okay just the way I am.” 

78. Cut Yourself Some Slack

Don’t worry about being perfect. There will be many times when you lose it. When you do, it’s okay. Life is a process-just one thing after another. When you lose it, just starts again. When you can learn to keep your perspective and to stay moving toward yourself, even when you prove you are human, you’ll be well on your way to a happier life.

80. Become an Early Riser

An hour or two that is reserved just for you- before your day begins is an incredible way to improve your life. Many people have told me that this one shift in their routine was the single most important change they have ever made in their lives. The fulfillment you experience more than makes up for any sleep you miss out on. 

81. When Trying to Be Helpful, Focus on Little Things

Sometimes our grandiose plans to do great things at some later time interfere with our chances to do little things right now.

82. Remember, One Hundred Years from Now, All New People

And when kept in mind, this idea can fill us with needed perspective during times of perceived crisis or stress. What saved me from getting overly stressed and too uptight was remembering that one hundred years from now, no one will remember this moment, no one will care.

83. Lighten Up

You have to see that your own uptightness is largely of your own creation- it’s composed of the way you have set up your life and the way you react to it.

Don’t expect your day to be problem free. Instead, as problems come up, say to yourself, “Ah, another hurdle to over-come.”  Rather than fighting against life, you’ll be dancing with it. 

85. Transform Your Relationship to Your Problems

Inner peace is accomplished by understanding and accepting the inevitable contradictions of life--the pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient. This philosophy of acceptance is the root of going with the flow.

86. The Next Time You Find Yourself in an Argument, Rather than Defend Your Position, See if You Can See the Other Point of View First

90. One More Passing Show

Everything has a beginning and an ending and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

All we know is that, eventually, everything disappears into nothingness. Welcoming the truth into your life is the beginning of a liberating adventure.  It’s enormously helpful to experiment with the awareness that life is just one thing after another. And if you’re experiencing some type of pain or displeasure, know that this too shall pass. It’s not always easy, but it is usually helpful.

92. Realize the Power of Your Own Thoughts

If you were to become aware of only one mental dynamic, the most important one to know about would be the relationship between your thinking and the way you feel. The next time you’re feeling upset, notice your thinking- it will be negative. Remind yourself that it’s your thinking that is negative, not your life.

93. Give Up on the Idea that “More Is Better”

Develop a new appreciation for the blessings you already enjoy. See your life freshly, as if for the first time. An excellent measure of happiness is the differential between what you have and what you want. You can spend your lifetime wanting more, always chasing happiness- or you can simply decide to consciously want less. This latter strategy is infinitely easier and more fulfilling.

94. Keep Asking Yourself, “What’s Really Important?“

I have a choice of what is most important in my life and where I put my greatest amount of energy. If you regularly take a minute to check in with yourself, to ask yourself, “What’s really important?” you may find that some of the choices you are making are in conflict with your own stated goals. 

95. Trust Your Intuitive Heart

Trusting your intuitive heart means listening to and trusting that quiet inner voice that knows what it is you need to do, what actions need to be taken, or changes need to be made in your life. If your intuitive heart says you need to slow down or take more time for yourself, try to make it happen. If you’re reminded of a habit that needs attention, pay attention. Start trusting your intuitive heart today and you’ll see a world of difference in your life.

96. Be Open to “What Is”

One of the most basic spiritual principles in many philosophies is the idea of opening your heart to “what is” instead of insisting that life be a certain way. This idea is so important because much of our internal struggle stems from our desire to control life, to insist that it be different than it actually is. But life isn’t always (or even rarely is) the way we would like it to be it is simply the way it is. 

99. Schedule Time for Your Inner Work

If you wait until all your chores, responsibilities, and everything else is done before you get started, it will never happen. Guaranteed. The important thing is that you do schedule the time and that you stick to it.

100. Live This Day as if It Were Your Last. It Might Be!