How to Live: 27 conflicting answers and one weird conclusion

Sivers, Derek

Book link

Highlights

Be independent

  • The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies. When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.
  • You can’t be free without self-mastery. You don’t see things as they are. You see them as you are. Change yourself and you change the world.
  • Live where you feel most free.

Commit

  • Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else.
  • Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s important, do it every day.

Fill your senses

  • See it all. Touch it all. Hear it all. Taste it all. Do it all. Appreciate this wonderful physical world.
  • Life is short

Do nothing

  • In your most peaceful moments, your mind is quiet.
  • Say nothing unless it must be said. Shallow rivers are noisy. Deep lakes are silent.
  • The unintelligent jump to conclusions. The wise just observe. Keep an empty head, so you can observe clearly. The less you do, the more you can see.
  • Observe and learn. Watch the world.

Think super-long-term

  • Do small things now with huge benefits for your older self. Actions amplify through time to have a massive impact on the future. Act now to influence that time.
  • Your future self is depending on you. Use the compounding amplifier of time. 

Make memories

  • Go make memories. Do memorable things. Experience the unusual. Document everything. Journal every day. Video everything. To enjoy your past is to live twice.
  • Without memories, you have no sense of self. You have to remember your past to see your trajectory
  • Making memories is the most important thing you can do with your life. The more memories you create, the longer and richer your life feels

Master something

  • Striving makes you happy. Pursuit is the opposite of depression.  The pursuit of mastery helps you think long-term. The most rewarding things in life take years. 
  • People don’t fail by choosing the wrong path—they fail by not choosing. The passion comes after you start getting good.
  • You need ritual, not inspiration. Every day, no matter what, you must practice. Once you get momentum, never stop. Never miss a day.
  • Be sharply focused, not well-rounded.
  • Nobody cares what you’re bad at, and neither should you. Amplify your strengths. 
  • You do it for the journey, not the destination

Let randomness rule

  • Random stuff happens. All you can control is your response

Pursue pain

  • The pain of practice leads to mastery. How you face pain determines who you are.
  • The easy road leads to a hard future. The hard road leads to an easy future

Do whatever you want now

  • There is only today. If you want to do something, do it now
  • Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to desire. Heaven is not what’s at the end of the path. Heaven is the path itself. 

Value only what has endured

  • Master the fundamentals, not new tricks. Learn the timeless aspects of your craft.

Learn

  • Be surprised by something every day.
  • Take notes. Review them often. Internalize it. Integrate it into how you think.
  • Don’t quote. Put it in your own words. If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it.

Follow the great book

  • Choose the pain of discipline, not the pain of regret.
  • Self-control is always rewarding. Self-control is always the right thing to do. This is a universal law.

Prepare for the worst

  • Never worry. This isn’t emotional. Just anticipate and prepare.
  • If it’s not in your control, put it out of your head. 
  • Everything that happens is neutral. Your beliefs label it as good or badDetach from the outcome and be OK no matter what happens.
  • Visit your favourite places. Listen to your favourite music. Taste your favourite food. This might be the last time you do all these things, so appreciate each moment fully.

Get rich

  • Get rich. Suspend judgment.
  • Use other people’s ideas. Ideas are worth almost nothing. Execution is everything. Better to be filled with action than ideas.
  • Investing is easy unless you try to beat the market. Settle for average. Be happy with a good-enough return from passive index funds that represent the entire world economy. Just take a few minutes per year to rebalance.  Avoid exciting investments.
  • Don’t act rich. Don’t lose touch with regular people. Stay frugal. Reducing your expenses is so much easier than increasing your income.
  • Say no to more stuff. Say yes to more choices.
  • Money makes problems go away, but amplifies personality traits. Money won’t change you, but it will amplify who you are.
  • Don’t lose momentum in life. Once you’ve done it, take it with you and do something else.

Reinvent yourself regularly.

  • Nature changes seasons at regular intervals. So should you. Never stay too long. Knowing something is going to end gives you more appreciation for it. Every reinvention is the beginning, which is the most exciting time. Like a promise, just given.

Love

  • It’s not something that happens to you. It’s something you do. You choose to love something or someone.
  • Notice how you feel around people. Notice who brings out the best in you. Notice who makes you feel more connected with yourself—more open and more honest. Don’t worry about anyone’s opinion of you. Don’t hope that someone is impressed. Impress yourself. Be your ideal self.

Create

  • Don’t wait for inspiration. Inspiration will never make the first move. Do your work every day, no matter what. It’s better to create something bad than nothing at all. You can improve something bad. You can’t improve nothing.
  • Embrace what’s weird about you, and use it to create. Never think you need to be normal or perfect.
  • When you’re gone, your work shows who you were. Not your intentions. Only what you put out.

Don’t die

  • Don’t try to be more right. Just be less wrong.  
  • To have good people in your life, just cut out the bad ones. Don’t waste a single minute.
  • Keep your eye on death. Avoid the mistakes that end life. Avoid the negatives that wreck life. Avoid the time-wasting that brings death sooner.

Make a million mistakes

  • Your growth zone is your failure zone. Both are at the edge of your limits. Keep making mistakes, so you can keep changing, learning, and growing.

Make change

  • Sometimes you don’t know what to add, but you know what to remove. Changing the world includes changing yourself.

Balance everything

  • When you’re balanced, you’re unlikely to get stressed. You’ve got a stronger foundation and a resilient structure.
  • The best tool for a balanced life is the clock. Schedule everything to ensure balance of your time and effort. Scheduling prevents procrastination, distraction, and obsession.
  • List what makes you happy and fulfilled, then schedule those things into your year.

Detailed Highlights

Be independent

  • The only way to be deeply happy is to break all dependencies. When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.
  • You can’t be free without self-mastery. You don’t see things as they are. You see them as you are. Change yourself and you change the world.
  • Live where you feel most free.
  • Being fully independent is how to live.

Commit

  • Here’s how to live: Commit.
  • When you commit to one outcome, you’re united and sharply focused.  Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else.
  • Your habits create your character. Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day.

Fill your senses

  • Here’s how to live: Fill your senses. See it all. Touch it all. Hear it all. Taste it all. Do it all. Appreciate this wonderful physical world.
  • Life is short

Do nothing

  • In your most peaceful moments, your mind is quiet.
  • Say nothing unless it must be said. People will appreciate your silence, and know that when you speak, it must be important. Shallow rivers are noisy. Deep lakes are silent.
  • The unintelligent jump to conclusions. The wise just observe. Keep an empty head, so you can observe clearly. The less you do, the more you can see.
  • Observe and learn. Watch the world.

Think super-long-term

  • Here’s how to live: Think super-long-term. If you put $ 2000 into the stock market for 200 years at the average 8% return, it will be worth over $ 9 billion.
  • Do small things now with huge benefits for your older self. Actions amplify through time to have a massive impact on the future. Act now to influence that time.
  • Your future self is depending on you. Use the compounding amplifier of time. Thinking super-long-term is how to live.

Make memories

  • When you get older, time flies by, forgotten, because you’re not having as many new experiences.
  • Go make memories. Do memorable things. Experience the unusual. Remember them all. Document everything. Journal every day. Video everything. To enjoy your past is to live twice.
  • Turn your experiences into stories. Make a story for the things you want to remember.
  • Without memories, you have no sense of self. You have to remember your past to see your trajectory
  • Making memories is the most important thing you can do with your life. The more memories you create, the longer and richer your life feels. Making memories is how to live.

Master something

  • You can only earn it through hard work. Mastery is the ultimate status.
  • Striving makes you happy. Pursuit is the opposite of depression.  The pursuit of mastery helps you think long-term. The most rewarding things in life take years. 
  • People don’t fail by choosing the wrong path—they fail by not choosing. The passion comes after you start getting good.
  • You need ritual, not inspiration. Every day, no matter what, you must practice. Stubbornly protect this time against the demands of the world. Once you get momentum, never stop. Never miss a day.
  • Be sharply focused, not well-rounded.
  • Nobody cares what you’re bad at, and neither should you. Amplify your strengths. 
  • You do it for the journey, not the destination. Pursuing mastery is how to live.

Let randomness rule

  • Random stuff happens. All you can control is your response. Every day, you’ll practice how to react to chaos: with dignity, poise, and grace.

Pursue pain

  • Here’s how to live: Pursue pain. Everything good comes from some kind of pain. The pain of practice leads to mastery. How you face pain determines who you are.
  • Problems persist until you claim them and solve them
  • The easy road leads to a hard future. The hard road leads to an easy future. Steering towards the pain is how to live.

Do whatever you want now

  • Forget the whole notion of the future. There is only today. If you want to do something, do it now
  • Doing whatever makes you happy now is smart. When you’re happy, you think better. More of your brain is engaged. You’re more open to possibilities and connecting ideas.
  • Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to desire. Heaven is not what’s at the end of the path. Heaven is the path itself. Doing whatever you want, at every moment, is how to live.

Value only what has endured

  • Here’s how to live: Value only what has endured. The longer something lasts, the longer it will probably last.
  • Master the fundamentals, not new tricks. Learn the timeless aspects of your craft.

Learn

  • Be surprised by something every day. Find that exciting moment when you get a completely new perspective.
  • Take notes. Review them often. Internalize it. Integrate it into how you think.
  • Don’t quote. Put it in your own words. If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it.

Follow the great book

  • Here’s how to live: Follow the great book. Your book is wiser than you.
  • Choose the pain of discipline, not the pain of regret.
  • Self-control is always rewarding. Self-control is always the right thing to do. This is a universal law.

Prepare for the worst

  • Never worry. This isn’t emotional. Just anticipate and prepare.
  • If it’s not in your control, put it out of your head. Trying to control outcomes makes you disappointed and resentful.
  • Everything that happens is neutral. Your beliefs label it as good or badDetach from the outcome and be OK no matter what happens.
  • Visit your favourite places. Listen to your favourite music. Taste your favourite food. This might be the last time you do all these things, so appreciate each moment fully.

Get rich

  • Here’s how to live: Get rich. Suspend judgment.
  • Use other people’s ideas. Ideas are worth almost nothing. Execution is everything. Better to be filled with action than ideas.
  • Investing is easy unless you try to beat the market. Settle for average. Be happy with a good-enough return from passive index funds that represent the entire world economy. Just take a few minutes per year to rebalance.  Avoid exciting investments.
  • Don’t act rich. Don’t lose touch with regular people. Stay frugal. Reducing your expenses is so much easier than increasing your income.
  • You’ll work harder to keep your money than you will to make more
  • Say no to more stuff. Say yes to more choices.
  • Money makes problems go away, but amplifies personality traits. Money won’t change you, but it will amplify who you are.
  • Don’t lose momentum in life. Once you’ve done it, take it with you and do something else.

Reinvent yourself regularly

  • Here’s how to live: Reinvent yourself regularly.
  • Nature changes seasons at regular intervals. So should you. Never stay too long. Knowing something is going to end gives you more appreciation for it. Every reinvention is the beginning, which is the most exciting time. Like a promise, just given.

Love

  • Here’s how to live: Love. It’s not something that happens to you. It’s something you do. You choose to love something or someone.
  • Notice how you feel around people. Notice who brings out the best in you. Notice who makes you feel more connected with yourself—more open and more honest. Don’t worry about anyone’s opinion of you. Don’t hope that someone is impressed. Impress yourself. Be your ideal self.
  • The happiest life is filled with love. Choose to love as much as you can. Loving is how to live.

Create

  • Here’s how to live: Create. Don’t wait for inspiration. Inspiration will never make the first move.Do your work every day, no matter what. It’s better to create something bad than nothing at all. You can improve something bad. You can’t improve nothing.
  • Embrace what’s weird about you, and use it to create. Never think you need to be normal or perfect.
  • When you’re gone, your work shows who you were. Not your intentions. Not what you took in. Only what you put out.

Don’t die

  • Here’s how to live: Don’t die. Don’t try to be more right. Just be less wrong. Avoiding failure leads to success. 
  • To have good people in your life, just cut out the bad ones. Don’t waste a single minute.
  • Keep your eye on death. Avoid the mistakes that end life. Avoid the negatives that wreck life. Avoid the time-wasting that brings death sooner.

Make a million mistakes

  • Here’s how to live: Make a million mistakes. Your growth zone is your failure zone. Both are at the edge of your limits. Keep making mistakes, so you can keep changing, learning, and growing.

Make change

  • Here’s how to live: Make change.  Sometimes you don’t know what to add, but you know what to remove. Changing the world includes changing yourself.

Balance everything

  • Here’s how to live: Balance everything. When you’re balanced, you’re unlikely to get stressed. You’ve got a stronger foundation and a resilient structure.
  • The best tool for a balanced life is the clock. Schedule everything to ensure balance of your time and effort. Scheduling prevents procrastination, distraction, and obsession.
  • List what makes you happy and fulfilled, then schedule those things into your year.